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Posted by gbmonline on

These are topics others like to discuss with me

and I really don’t need to hear it, so what I said came from the heart. I’m fortunate to live in an area where it’s actually cheaper to buy a cow, or a portion there of, and have it processed then it is to buy store bought meat on a weekly basis. The cows here are grassfed, hormone/antibiotic free, yada, yada, yada, so we do this, and it saves us a bunch of money. I buy our milk from a local Mennonite dairy. Again, grassfed cows and the yada, yada, yada. We are again fortunate that we can buy lots of local organic produce in season and we purchase our chips, other dairy, honey, maple syrup, bacon, hot dogs and other pork products (again, organic, yada, yada, yada) soaps and candles locally. We think we do ok on the organic/local/keep money in Michigan/keep money in our community thing, BUT someone I know is on my case about my kids eating store bought cookies and other snack foods. I honestly think we do better than many, and I generally cook from scratch, but give me a break and get off my back. I just found out this same person is running around mouthing off to someone else we know about how we should always eat organic and non GMO foods regardless of the season and the price (there are a few local farmers who are growing foods year ’round in green houses, but the produce is very expensive at this time of the year so not everyone can afford to eat this way twelve months out of the year), and is basically making them feel like trash because they don’t eat as healthy of a diet as the finger pointer does. Leave me alone and just shut up.

Next, I have an ADHD child as you do. We choose to make a three hour daily trip (well, it’s twice a day round trip and it adds up to three hours a day of travel to and from school) to send our children to parochial school. We do it because we believe in a Christ centered education, but we also do it because the school is wonderful in dealing with my child and his various inconsistences. Anyone with an ADHD child knows that these children are consistently inconsitent in their behaviors. I don’t want my child put into a special ed class in a public school. He’s got enough to deal with, let alone feeling stigmatized because he has some differences and occasional behavioral incidents (I’ve already dealt with this with one of my older children so I’m speaking from experience, it’s not just an opinion). This school is wonderful in working with him, and when he needs to be removed from an activity because he is beginning to be over stimulated, they acknowledge what’s going on, and work with him. We work hand in hand with this little school and they are wonderful. Those people who choose to use the public school and choose to have their child in special ed classes certainly are making choices they feel are appropriate for their child, and I have no complaints with them or their decision. That’s fine; we all do as we see fit. It’s simply our decision not to have our child placed in a special ed curriculum (he is very bright and is #1 in his class in Math), but a gazillion people want to know why we won’t send our children to the local public school. This isn’t a reflection upon them, but it seems like it’s taken personally because we won’t send our children to the same school they send their children to. They then want to give us a tough time about all the driving we do. Please. Like this is convenient for us. You see to your children’s educational needs as you choose, and we’ll see to our children’s educational needs as we choose. I’m not going to defend our decisions.

Bottom line, I really dislike people questioning how I live my life, and until I see a need to change something, I’m not going to. That’s sort of how I see this whole financial quandary of seeing people making stupid money mistakes. We’ve all been there and done that and until we see a reason to change, it’s probably not going to happen until we want to, not because some has suggested we do so (and believe me, I’ve been where Kathryn has been before and thought we were being “helpful” in pointing out where others were screwing up, but we have basically been blown off by a majority of those who we have tried to “help”). It’s not worth the effort, and it might damage a friendship by coming off as seeming all knowing or critical or judgmental. My two cents is that it simply isn’t worth it. Anyway, I’m sorry you have someone like this in your life, Kari. It sounds like she has a whole bunch of problems going on and it’s just easier for her to deflect them by being critical of how you run your family. There’s no way in the world I could homeschool my child. He thrives on the discipline and order he receives in school, plus he needs to be socialized with other children in an structured setting. It also sounds like she needs to stop shopping and come out of retirement and find a job, but, until she comes to that realization, it’s not going to happen

Posted by gbmonline on

I guess one approach would be to have a few “seeds” of knowledge to sprinkle into conversations.

So in this case, when he suggested to use a CC for fun you could say something along the lines of “well, if I can’t pay cash for it now I fail to see where expecting to have cash to pay for it later is a better choice”. And then drop it.
Just dropping food for thought would be my approach. If it piques their interest enough to have a real conversation about it, then so be it. We have a friend whose financial choices have just driven us nuts over the years. From car purchases, living large and spending frivolously all while complaining about her salary, etc, it has always driven us insane. I suspect she knows our thoughts, but we keep them to ourselves. I do however make our personal situation quite clear – when we bought our last car, for example, I made it clear it was paid for in cash.
Anyway, good luck with this. Painful to watch others make unwise choices…